I’ve had some glimpses at my inner psyche again lately and it ain’t pretty. My most recent confirmation/revelations:
I have problems with patience. My own I mean. I’m pretty sure that comes as not even a tiny surprise to any of you who know me. The most recent horrible example of it however, is that now that I’ve, at last, turned in my book I just want it done! That isn’t that simple however and I’m not at all talented in the art area so I am really dependent on creative, talented and busy people to turn it around for me. Patience is greatly needed and will lead to the best results. I know it, I believe it’s true, I just barely have any.
I’m not good – have never ever been good – at networking, reaching out, selling, “working” a room, cold calling, interacting with people I don’t know. I’m not just not good – I’m terrible at it. I think it’s a talent I might just not learn this life time but there are sure times I wish that was different. I can reach out and “talk” with all of you here in this format just fine but put me live with a group and I consistently fail miserably. I seem to be locked in the slow and steady way of building relationships one at a time over time. Don’t get me wrong, that method has served me well in bringing wonderful, quality people to my life but there are certainly times in life – especially around work or promoting a book for instance, that breaking through that social shyness would be a great asset.
I have no elegance. Absolutely none. An elephant could present itself more graciously than I could. I have a clumsy, loud – usually fun but rarely polished or elegant in any way — kind of style.
I’m a very late bloomer at this point to be taking on new things. I look at the videos and read the tips on how to promote your book and they are all being done by people much younger than I am – people largely in their 30s it seems when you have talent, beauty, energy, resources. I bounce between “who are you kidding?” and “so what? you can still do this Julee” pretty much on an hourly basis.
Oh and I have whining tendencies. obviously.
Alas, those looks “inside” can be rough. For a short week, this one has been long!